Radical Love

In the hot summer, I do reflect on topics that otherwise would not reach the mind of even the most critical of thinkers. Though, please do save the ones who think deeply about the most base of building blocks: cornerstones aren’t to be discarded lest the entire upwards efforts come falling down. This essay will explore Maslow’s pyramid. However, I do seek to unsettle Maslow’s pyramid–perhaps, even to overthrow the common sense apprasial of human needs and instead to show how I view the world.

To be, or not to be ¹: to love, or not to love.

Self-Acualization

From top-down (which shouldn’t substitute bottom-up), we see self-actualization: this is the height of any person’s health, well-being, and thriving self. Such beauty comes from people who are actualized and realizing, tangiably, what they need, must, and should do. Aah! Such beauty to behold! Though, how many of us know student-artists that are suffering the student lifestyle? Experienced by these folk are, of course, hunger, distress, loneliness, and so on. Nothing would give me more delight, in these words, than to expose my past classmates’ suffering in their writing. Though, I do respect their beautiful suffering that transcends the above displayed, seemingly sequential pyramid.

Esteem, Confidence, Respect

So, then, how can one who self-actualizes reach that height without esteem, confidence, and respect. Are all artists esteemed, confident, and respected? No: these characteristics are learned, but the most beautiful exposition of their souls, their hearts, come from the longing they have for self-actualization (SA). That SA is the goal which all artists, and people boldly writ, desire. Though, when artists reach the pinnacle of their height, do we see that they are better than when they were arduously suffering? Clearly not. Complaicaney kills, but not the body: killing the soul, mind, and heart, some argue, are far worse fates. Why bother doing anything if there is no suffering, why bother suffering if there is nothing to gain? So, then, nobody will suffer to actualize farther (up the pyramidal ladder), and nobody will add more suffering to maintain their SA. Though, do I lie? Perhaps—it is seen that those artists who fully experience SA do yearn for more suffering. Though none have stated such sentences, it can be inferred. For a moment, let’s consider some examples, and quotes of actors, or other artists who began simulating exogenous pressures to continue their suffering, despite being at the height of their craft.

Amy Winehouse

One such example is Amy Winehouse. For as much as the reader can accept, there is a report from this website ² which says:

However, as her fame grew, so did her dependence on drugs and alcohol, and it wasn’t long before her personal issues and substance abuse became a public spectacle.

and from the same article:

Her story serves as both a cautionary tale about addiction and a reminder of the fragile nature of fame and mental health.

This tragic, tragic story isn’t a one-off, or anomaly. Instead, this serves as a warning in tandem with other artists. Let us then look back into history.

Vincent van Gough

As found on The Recovery Village. ³

In fact, he even painted the drinking his distinct style. And while some might attribute his artistic prowess to intoxication, van Gogh himself admitted that it was more [of] a detriment to his skill in letters with his brother: “Besides, it is a certain fact that I have done better work than before since I stopped drinking, and that is so much gained.” ³

So, then, reader, we see that there are instances where those who leave resistance during their growth that later encounter the blue-sky and high-sun experience do still yearn for—something. That something may be substance misuse, or it may instead be physical misuse. ⁴

Love and Belonging

Love challenges. Love, as is properly understood, constitues this: to will the goodness of another. Though, do lovers truly will the goodness of those who receive love? No. They do not. Why? When we have lovers, and not the beloved, we are left wanton because of the lack of the species of Love. Saint Thomas of Aquinas states that:

Dionysius says (Div. Nom. iv) that every love is a “unitive love.” ⁵

and:

The union of lover and beloved is twofold. The first is real union; for instance, when the beloved is present with the lover. The second is union of affection: and this union must be considered in relation to the preceding apprehension; since movement of the appetite follows apprehension. Now love being twofold, viz. love of concupiscence and love of friendship; each of these arises from a kind of apprehension of the oneness of the thing loved with the lover. For when we love a thing, by desiring it, we apprehend it as belonging to our well-being. In like manner when a man loves another with the love of friendship, he wills good to him, just as he wills good to himself: wherefore he apprehends him as his other self, in so far, to wit, as he wills good to him as to himself. Hence a friend is called a man’s “other self” (Ethic. ix, 4), and Augustine says (Confess. iv, 6), “Well did one say to his friend: Thou half of my soul.” ⁶

Though:

Hatred also is a result of love, as we shall state further on (I-II:29:2). ⁷

How is this then reconciled in artistic craft? Let me then shift to the philosophy of scientific practice. ⁸

The Health Care Provider Student

Before my embarkment on the academically arduous path of medical school, I was once a primary care paramedic. My confreres, Janine and David, who both worked with me in the night and day, respectively, agreed to take a student during our regular working hours. I was the common link between night and day. ⁹

My student and I worked, played, and studied together. One photo of us is available on my experience page of this website.

Though how did I approach his learning? My earnest desire was to make him confident, capable, and competant in all ways available to me. What I had to pass along to him was my limited, though rich, experience and the many books and other resources I had access to during and after school. Our alma mater was the same, and I shared in desire to avoid great failure, as the school enstilled in us both.

For his confidence, I, after a sufficient number of patient counters where I felt that he was able to handle independence, let him lead calls. Compared to me, I let him have the reigns far earlier. I wanted him to fail, fail, fail, and even more: fail. My partner(s) and me were both available to catch him from ground: we were the anthropromorhic safety net. We wanted to be his safety net, and in safety we wanted to challenge him. So, in the spirit of this essay: radical love, and with Saint Thomas’ approach; we wanted to radically love him. His goodness was willed through three people.

Likewise, we wanted to assess his capability: can he do emergent procedures, and clinical procedures; can he do clinical skills, and decision making? These are the questions we asked ourselves, among others. So branching off of central confidence, because that is the trunk of the tree we branch from, wholly, we tested, observed, and rescued when necessary.

Competance, though, came as a final branch of the tree of him to bring forth fruit which would be succlent to our tutilage.

To recapitulate the entire experience, and to solidfy the three-C alliteration and consonance, I shall share a story, or perhaps two.

The First Story

Us three went to a female patient, late 50s, in a rural-feeling area of the capital of my province. When there, we found that the patient was terminally ill. Both my partner and I felt that this was an excellent example

What does this mean?

Instead of looking for an edge to fight against which we inflict upon ourselves, which cares not for ourselves. Instead, we should seek the edge of another: equal, superior, or inferior. So that, when we reach our SA of career, or life, we can seek these mentors out. They can be our friend, spouse, child(ren), parent, grandparent, superior (work), inferior (work), or any exhaustive example you can mentally conjure. So, when we put on our metaphorical, or literal boots, we have someone who is willing to test and push us. With utmost humility, we need to embrace this discomfort (for some). This is because if we cannot sink teeth into what is before us, we then seek for other challenges exterior to our interior life and local environment. We cannot adopt extra responsibilities without risking the detriment to our intimate life.

Safety, Employment, Health, Home, etc

Physiology: Breathing, Food, Water, etc.

When we dont have love: radical love; what good is breathing, eating, or drinking? Reader, let me shake your shoulders and shout this into your face: what good is the base without the height? No person desires the base. No person desires the middling of personal satisfaction and performance. If they do, it is because they aren’t loved enough by a truly healthy source with sound methods.

For instance, let us consider Hawlow’s Monkeys I will briefly recount what is found on Simply Psychology.¹⁰ The two headings below follow the citation just mentioned: Experiment One and Experiment Two.

Experiment One

• Infant monkeys were separated from their mothers after birth, put into cages, and had access to two mother-types made of wire. One was bare wire, and the other was covered in a cloth with similar wire underneath.

• Cloth Mom had no food. Wire Mom had food.

• The infant monkeys spent more time with the Cloth Mom.

• The infant monkeys went to the wire mother when hungry only .

• Some other details are skipped in this essay.

Experiment Two

(I will copy and paste the listed outcomes between surogate mothers, and real mothers.)

1. They were much more timid.

2. They didn’t know how to act with other monkeys.

3. They were easily bullied and wouldn’t stand up for themselves.

4. They had difficulty with mating.

5. The females were inadequate mothers.

Physiology: Breathing, Food, Water, etc., Continued

So, then, if the reader wants a second study to be that-much-more rigourous, then look for further than the Romanian Orphan Study

The babies laid in cribs all day, except when being fed, diapered or bathed on a set schedule. They weren’t rocked or sung to. Many stared at their own hands, trying to derive whatever stimulation they could from the world around them.

In the metaphorically infantile times of HCP students, we should then ask ourselves if nature or nurture should take the dominant form. A wise approach, alternatively, would be the bottom of this thought: how do I balance the two? What balance of proportion of these two maxims fit best my particular student at this particular time? This answer, unfortunately, cannot be written without rigorous study, or lengthy experience.